Did you miss me?

I'm baaaaaack!

School has started and for the first time ever, all my boys are gone all day. It's a point in my life that I knew would come, but never really believed would be here. As I've said many times, this is a chapter 11 years in the making.

It's been a full week now that they have been in school. During the summer, and even last school year, I was asked what I will do with all my time. I had lofty plans to clean and organize my house from top to bottom. I wanted to finish all my projects that are nearly complete. I wanted to have meals planned out weeks ahead. These are all good goals, and ones that will probably, most likely happen, but for now I enjoy.

The house is quiet. The dog sleeps on the couch. I leisurely drink my coffee and think about what I WANT to do instead of what needs to be done in a short amount of time.

My first day alone I had a moment of panic. "What have I done? All my family is out in the world and I don't have a job, or set up any activity for me to do!!!" In that moment I took a breath...sat on the couch...painted my toe nails...started a knitting project...and smiled.

I love my children dearly, please don't get that wrong. I adore summer, winter, spring break so we can all be together. Somewhere along the line though I got too wound up. It has taken this still house to recognize how burnt out I was.

So, no, my house is not dusted yet. Boys rooms are not organized and purged. But, when they get home from school, I am excited to see them. I have fulfilled whatever need I have to accomplish (or not accomplish) "my stuff" and am ready to greet them and give them my full attention.